#IfGodhadTwitter :)

     I was looking through old blogs this week, thinking about how much my opinions have changed in just the short time I’ve been working on this. I find myself to be less judgmental, and over all more friendly. It is interesting how a little research and much thought can change things so much. Not only have I been researching for the blog, but talking to people on social networking sites to learn about others.
     One place where I have really found some friends (yeah I haven’t met them in person, but I would call them friends) is on Twitter. When I first made the Twitter account I made it my goal to talk to all types of people, different religions, different backgrounds. I’ve found the people I get along best with on this site are Atheists… That’s right, Atheists. At first I spent much of my time being offended that a majority of non-theists seemed to consider Christians, and people of other religions stupid, ignorant, hateful…the list of derogatory terms goes on and on.
      After a few months I found out that it was all a reaction though. They were all nice to me, well a few weren’t, but a huge majority were. So I figured they were reacting to the way others treated them. It got me thinking, why is this group perceived as an immoral bunch of jerks? I just wasn’t seeing it. I did see debates, some got nasty, a friend of mine was actually called an abomination for being a homosexual. It made me hurt for him, and I could see why they fought back. Religion is dangerous, it’s been used to dominate, hurt, and cause hate throughout history. When done correctly it's not supposed to be like that, compassion is the key. This is not to say that Christians have the monopoly on morality. Morality transcends pretty much everything, religion included. Murderers, pedophiles, and evil people exist outside of religion, location, color, and sexual preference.
     The religious people I know, whatever flavor, are usually kind, so I was taken aback by the behavior on the net. Christians calling out Atheists, Muslims, Pagans, and people of all sorts, just because of what? I had no clue why anyone would do that, that’s not really the way to show Christian love and compassion. Don’t get me wrong, I have talked to some awesome Christians on Twitter, but the mean ones are just so vocal, and horribly nasty.
      I had assumed that it would be all about what shows people are watching, what they were having for diner, but most of what I see is arguing/debating. I have joined in on a few, trying to be a voice of Christian moderation, but it doesn’t always work. Some Atheists still just don’t like me, and of course that’s their perfect right. After years of being treated badly and told they are going to a Hell they don’t even believe in, they are leery to say the least. The amazing thing is how many people of my own faith tell me I’m not doing things right. They say I'm not right-wing enough, or that it's wrong to hope for marriage equality.
      Really the main thought on this is to give people a chance, whatever side you are on. I would like to give props to the people on Twitter who have shown me a new way of looking at things, and who have been kind even when others weren’t. I have been irritated with a few conversations that have started out with people telling me I'm stupid for having faith, or that I don't value science or reality. The other end of that is fundies who butt in on conversations by telling non-believers that they are destined for Hell.
     I hope my friends on Twitter keep fighting for compassion and equality. It is sad that it's not just the obvious thing, and it startles me that something as simple as a social site is such a battleground of political and religious opinion. Thank you out there in Twitterland for everything, and I hope to have many civil debates in the future, and conversations about slang in other countries :)

Why God Why? No seriously, I want an actual answer.

     It has been a long time since we have written a blog, it has been a really hard few weeks, and we were very distracted. On March 14th a friend of mine, she was the girlfriend of my youngest brother in law, she died in a car wreck. She had been 18 for a month, upon receiving the news, after the denial, I decided God was a jerk. I know this sounds awful, and I am over feeling like that now, but I'll be honest, I blamed Him. I didn't understand how a beautiful wonderful girl like that could just die. It sounds silly because at my age is should be apparent that sometimes people die, but this one seemed especially brutal. My brother in law has grown into such a wonderful person that I just sort of expected life to come easy for him.
     I have never lost a friend, I have had a few be fairly horrifically injured in car wrecks, but in the end they survived. The driver of the car, a girl I didn't know, was badly injured, the other 2 passengers were also injured, one minorly, the other fairly severely, but he is okay. I just keep thinking about this girl, who is barely 16, sitting in a hospital room, blaming herself. I guess I would too, but if we are honest with ourselves we all know that we have done silly things. I've sped, when I was a teenager I went 100 everywhere (not literally, but yeah, my speedometer hit 100 more than twice). I hate to think that this child has to carry this around with her for the rest of her life. I hope and pray that this girl gains some measure of comfort over time, and forgives herself.
     In these situations why is such a common question, sadly there is NO answer, no one knows, if you are religious you have to believe that God had some motive or reasoning. If you aren't religious I don't know what you do. In my head right now though, there is NO reason, nothing at all can explain to me why things like this happen. Adding to this situation is stress in my home life, money problems, and school. I've gotten to the point where I just don't know what I'm doing anymore.
     From anger, to prayer, to anger again, I get no answer. It's frustrating, I am struggling to continue believing that this will somehow work out for the better. One thing has helped me though, it is oddly a quote from Charlotte's Facebook page (the friend who passed away) I don't know where the quote came from, but it goes like this "Everything will be ok in the end, if it isn't ok, it isn't the end." Another quote off her page also struck me as poignant, it seemed oddly fitting in this situation "

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, angels nor demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Again I don't know where the original quote came from.

     I really do think things will turn out okay, but at the moment I'm not at all enjoying the journey. If nothing else this death is a precautionary tale to show us all that we should let people know how we feel, and that death can happen at any time. Through my life I have frequently struggled with anger at God, my own idea that I am entitled to anything gets in my way. The fact is we are entitled to nothing, not money, not happiness, and not even life. It is all a gift, Atheist, Christian, Wiccan, or Jew, we all have the ability to help out others and make ourselves happy.

    I know this blog is pretty scattered, but I am having a hard time organizing my ideas, thanks for staying with me. I hope things get better soon for everyone, I will be praying for it, and doing my best to add action to my prayers...