Thursday, October 11, 2012

National Coming Out Day: Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you

     No, I'm not gay, I am a straight, cisgendered, female. I was born in the right body, with the right parts, and I like boys for the most part. Things in that area have always been pretty simple for me, but lets face it, not everyone has it easy. Luckily I come from a family, who even if I was gay, would still love me. They would be shocked, concerned for my welfare, and scared for the things I faced in the future, but they would never choose not to love me. Many people have to live with the fear that if their parents, family, and friends find out who they truly are, they would be shunned. That is not okay! I'm disappointed to live in a country where some people aren't allowed to marry the person they love. Not only that, I've heard people say that homosexuals CAN'T love like straight people. Who the heck are they to say that just because you are gay or transgendered your love is not equal to theirs. That they aren't deserving of the same recognition for their commitment by their government and peers as a straight person is. Recognition that they are dedicated, and working hard for a lasting relationship. Maybe recognition that they are parenting a child together, a child they want to raise in a world where things are equal. Don't we all want the next generation to grow up in a safe place, where you can say, hey, I'm gay, and not fear being beaten or mocked?
     I had never heard of National Coming Out day prior to this year, but I think as a group we need to come together and decide that all people need to be accepted and loved. No more hating the sin and loving the sinner, no more saying that you are showing your love by pointing out what they are doing wrong. That is just hate speech dressed up. I DON'T CARE what religion you are, or what political party you are, everyone deserves certain rights.
     What if your husband or wife was in a serious car wreck, you would want to comfort them, but a homosexual couple in a civil union doesn't have this right. Imagine the person you love is laying there, hurt, maybe near death, scared for sure, and you can't even hold their hand. Now imagine your spouse dies, where do the kids go? In a straight marriage they go to the other parent, no questions asked, for a gay couple in a civil union that isn't the case. Now they have to fight for the child that they have raised just like any other parent. Now imagine you are the child, one of your parents is dead, now you may loose the other, surely NO ONE thinks this is okay. How does that not make you sick?
     I'm so very tired of people saying things like "it's against the Bible" or "marriage is one man and one woman" or "it goes against my God". I don't care if you think it's against your faith, I don't care and you shouldn't either. This country IS NOT a Christian country, if you think it was a country founded by Christians, for Christians you need to take another History class or 2. It was founded by people seeking freedom, the freedom to be who they were, the freedom to worship as they pleased. I don't care if you believe they are born that way, or it's a choice, EVERYONE SHOULD BACK EQUAL MARRIAGE RIGHTS. To deny anyone a civil right shows that you lack empathy. If you ask yourself honestly, what would I want for my kids, parents, sister, or brother, and you answer honestly you would want them to be with the person they love. It won't hurt or belittle your marriage, any injury to marriage is one that the straight community has caused. Spousal abuse, adultery, apathy, we did this ourselves. The idea of marriage has always existed outside of Christianity, if you believe it's just a Christian institution then why don't you get upset when Atheists get married. Remember St. Valentine, he married Christians outside the law, that's right, CHRISTIANS WEREN'T ALLOWED TO GET MARRIED, and now we are doing that to others?
     I didn't care at all about this issue, or any issue for that matter, until about a year and a half ago. It didn't effect me, so I didn't care. No one close to me was gay, even now, I don't have any close gay friends, no one in my family is gay, but it's an issue that effects us all. This touches me, it hits a chord with me, and it should with everyone. No religion has the right to govern others. I don't believe this is what Jesus or God would want. Whatever God you worship (or not), whatever prophet you believe in, I don't think they would be okay with this, and if they were, that is not a God I would worship, or a prophet I would revere.
     Do not be mistaken, this is a Civil Rights issue, say it isn't and you are kidding yourself. No one should be allowed to deny a Civil Right for ANY reason. It is crazy that this is still up in the air. This isn't a Biblical, religious, or political right, it is just right.
So today is National Coming Out Day, and Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you, and I know you will respect it, and I know you will still love me. I am not gay, but I believe in Equal Marriage Rights, and I think everyone should.


  1. You know I have a conflict with this issue. But, if it were my child, I would hope they could come to me and say, "This is who I am." I would not love my child any less for being gay, just finding someone they are happy with and can share a life with would be all I want for them. Because of my past experience, however, I am deeply troubled with the thought of gay marriage. I was raised to believe that marriage was between a man and a woman. And being Catholic, its a given that homosexuality is a sin. I dont think that gay marriage is wrong but I dont think its fair either. I grew up with parents who loved each other very much and were married 42 years. When I got married, I just "assumed" that it would last forvever. I was wrong. I have 2 sisters and between the 3 of us there are 5 divorces. I have asked myself, what is wrong with us that we cant make a marriage work, yet our parents were together for such a long time? But I realized, marriage is a full-time job and you have to work to keep it going. There are some who dont want to work on it, there are those who realize it after its too late, and those who will do whatever it takes to make it work, those are the ones that last the longest. My parents were by no means perfect, but they kept it together, raised a family and supported each other. When I heard that on of the first gay couples that had married, subsequently divorced, it clicked for me. Gay or straight, some marriages survive, some dont. I dont know if letting gay couples marry is the right decision. But I do know, the Institution of Marriage itself is in trouble.

  2. I am pretty impressed with how open minded you actually are, I can't fault someone on not agreeing with marriage rights. The fault I find is in thinking your beliefs should govern others, but you aren't like that at all. Marriage is hard, I knew that going in though, after watching my parents struggle with making marriages work. I don't think I knew it would be this hard :). Your kids are very blessed to have a Mom like you. Thanks for taking time out to give feedback, always appreciated!!