What Women Want?

Sara:    We are probably going to have to do this one in two parts, as it is one of our favorite subjects, and one close to our hearts. I was born a girl, but if you had looked in on me when I was younger, you would have heard me say that all I wanted to be was a boy. And why not? Boys get to go out and work, they don't have to be pregnant, or cook, or clean. They get to jump ramps on their bikes and fish while I'm expected to play with dolls. Well I have always thought that dolls sucked, and I like to fish.
    This is one of the most impeded upon rights I have, as my faith has pretty clear ideas on gender roles. To be honest I have always thought that those rules in the Bible where for a different time, when you were pretty much either a housewife or a whore. Some people seem to dislike that the women's rights movement even happened, and mostly they fall under the religious category as Christian. It upsets me because I am offended. I don't think God made all women to work at home, and trust me I know it's work. I have been a stay at home Mom with both my kids, save about 2 years of employment, and some scattered school. I love my kids, but it is not what I want to do with my whole life. It is a respectable career, but it's not for me.
    You may say I'm willful, and ignoring what God has planned for me, but I say that isn't so. I think this is Gods way of helping me, this ability to go to school is. He made me, he knows that being at home isn't what I want to do. Obviously he thought it would be good to have me do this job for a few years, give me some perspective. Now I really know that my end goal is still the same as it always has been. I want to be a nurse, nothing crazy, not a rock star, but it's always been on my heart that that's what I need to do. Otherwise why would I love working in the ER so much, nothing says fun like a torn off limb, or a chest tube. I get super excited to be the first person on the scene of a wreck, and nothing rocked my world like the first time I preformed CPR. I hope to someday get to say that I saved some lives, and I would love to one day deliver a baby on my own.
    Why would God give me these strong desires if he wanted me to squash them. I've never had any thoughts that I should Home school, guess he knows that would be a disaster. We will address this in another post, home schooling is a pretty intense topic. God has a different plan for everyone, and if I can be happy for you staying at home, why can't you just be happy for me too. Don't worry that my kids will be messed up because I had a job, it isn't your business, and it's none of mine how you raise your kids.
     It does bug me a little when people raise their daughters to be everything stereotypically female. It's my problem that that bothers me, not yours, It's my own personal experience that makes me hate ideals like that.It hurts me to think that these little girls are going to grow up thinking that something is wrong with them. My opinion on the matter is that if you can do it, stay at home that is, you are a strong person, and I respect you, but it ain't for me...


Allie:  So... imagine a little girl in a little pink sundress, big giant pink bow in her hair, covered in dirt and playing monster trucks on the playground. Some will see a cute little tomboy, while others see it as wrong because little girls shouldn't be dirty, and they certainly shouldn't play with 'boy' toys. That was me. I grew up being as girlie as possible on the outside, but in actions and mannerisms I really should have just been born a boy. I'm the girl climbing trees, burping the alphabet at the diner table, and dutch ovening any poor person who happens to share a blanket with me. Growing up my mother always seemed to worry about me because "this is not the way a lady should act."
     What dictates what is feminine and what is not (besides the obvious)? Who decided that playing with a Barbie would make a boy gay, or that playing with trucks and farting would keep a girl from finding a husband? I have never quite understood this particular concept. Growing up I enjoyed playing with Barbies as well as matchbox cars. I also enjoyed playing baseball, and wearing make-up. Why can't girls have it both ways?
     When I grew up people continued to try and put me in a box, either I was going to be totally feminine, or a butch lesbian. I have never been able to just be me, which often entails me giggling like a 12 year old boy every time I fart. I remember when I was 18 I was at my Dad's house, I had just come in from being out in the yard, I was wearing full make-up, but I was covered in dirt from head to toe. My Dad's girlfriend asked me why I couldn't act like a proper girl, stay inside, cook, clean; because acting the way I did would never attract a suitable husband. That kind of stuff really grinds my gears. I don't get why, this being the 21st century and all, it is still necessary for a woman to ready herself just to become a wife. (I'm not belittling people who choose this for their life.)
     I don't think it is a woman's sole lot in life to just become a wife, and if I marry, I want my husband to accept me for who I am, boyish behavior and all. I can understand that's how it worked centuries ago when women had no career prospects out of the home, and almost no independence whatsoever. It's just not for me. I've always wanted to stand on my own feet before I can share my life with someone else, then and only then will I be ready to happily settle down. Unfortunately being 25, unmarried, and having no children, still makes you some sort of old maid. Sometimes I feel pressured by certain people to hurry up, find a man, and get knocked up as quickly as possible. It is as if my eggs are going to dry up tomorrow, and I will never get to fulfill my 'role' as a woman. Why is it so devastating that I may not ever want to have kids or get married, maybe I don't want that life at all. I've always shown respect for women who have children, and have gotten married, why can't people just respect that it's not for me right now, and I don't know if it will ever be right for me... Does this make me less of a woman?